updatee :)

RIIIIIGHTYY

well as an update i cant remember if i mentioned the two new room mates i have in my head.
Ana and Psyc. yeahh. little bit about them:

Ana
14 years old
5'5
very thin
light brown hair and brown eyes
full fringe, straight hair.
not the nicest person to come accross

Psyc
16 years old
5'10
size 8 with a DD cup size[weird how i kno that..]
short hair with longish fringe and dyed red
basically me drunk. :L:L

honestly its kinda scary. and im having halusinations >.< stuff like reli big spiders crawling up the walls at night and tall scary men standing over me. at night, youd crap yourself.
just thought id mention that

also unfortunetly developed a need to bleed again :/ i made Skei go into a fit coz iv started cutting again :/ i feel relii bad but its better than killing myself right?

i caught a glimps of my legs the other day in shorts and thought 'NO WAY!' they actually look MUCH thinner than usual. :)

and my grades are still above average :D i plan on showing all the fuckers in my life up.

but i reli need a fag :/ i hav 2 but i dont think i could get away with smelling like them afterwards :/ mehh ill hav to make do.
mental note: meet up with Craig after school again to hav a fag like we did AGES ago <3 loved that day

yes im doing well on the weight front. [wheyheyy!!] 10 stone 13 pounds. hopefully losing more!

this is verrrry scatterbrained i kno >.<
well i think thats it.. ima make myself some healthy hot chocolate :L



bye mah lovers x ;)

Achhhh T_T

mood: kinda crappyy
time: 10:03pm
Listening too: secondhand serenade

rightyy well i still uberlyy wanna kill kitty. she slammed a door in my face... on purpose. making my nose bash it quite harrd >.<>.< god i hav hardly any self control.
Playa is getting on my nerves. still. she thinks shes depressed. pfft. she has no reason to be depressed and shes deffinetly not. i am ! i should kno if other people are! like Craiiggg :( hes getting depressed coz Hans broke up with him and she now hates me for telling craig that she dumped him coz her feelings for dean were confusing her and shes making shit up tbh :/ shes going round saying she doesnt fancy him. i only told craig that, i duno why shes getting other people involved with this... oh well. if she wants to stay friends ill let her decide.

Skei did the weirdest thing the other day. he proposed to me. im 15. is that normal?? i sed id answer when he asks me properly with a ring :L:L so hes saving up apparentlyyyy.. hey ho

me and Craig met up after school today and had a couple of rollies. cigarettes incase you didnt kno. its become something i quite like.. not good i knoo but heyy. we'v descovered a way to smoke and get us all light headed! its amazing! it feels like youre tipsyy.. and we did a few smokers kisses too. [blowing your inhailed smoke into the others mouth.. not actual kissing] so today was alright, but i feel crappy again >.< i wanna be 18. everythings legal. except drugs o'coursee. they arent ever legal unless youre rasterfarian. duno if i spelt that rightt.. oh well.

i hope my mood lifts.. its really bugging me. i hav no enthusiasm.
oh crap i still hav to sort out my work expierience with lilly. [different person] were gonna call them up together to see if they hav a place for 2 peoplee >.< ahhhhhhhh

well good byee. i needed to rant a little.
not like you care
no one even reads this...

'i was born to say i love you'
x

:( Sparkiie (L)

listening to: Avril Lavigne. She has good depressing songs.
talking to: Craigg.. about depressing shit.
thinking about: Depressing shit.

Fuck my life.

I hate cancer. i hope they find a FUCKING CURE soon. damn it. My Dog Sparkie has cancer. had it for a bit over a year... hes only 4 for Christs sakee. if hes not looking better in 48 hours theres nothing anyone can do... if he dies, i will fall apart and go mental. hes my bubbyy :( i dont want to lose my icklee fwend who keeps me company when im sad! it'll tear me apart and top off the crazy spilling out my head. :(

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby Sparkie has a high chance of dying soon

CraigyyBoyy says:
ohhhh tht suckss alott

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby yes now i kno why iv felt so shit all month

CraigyyBoyy says:
oo how long has he/she had it forr

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby about a year its a boy btw hes only 4

CraigyyBoyy says:
oh thts soo gay life is soo shitt

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby yeahh deffinetlyy, i hav an exam tomorrow too fucks sakee WHY MY FUCKIGN DOG??

CraigyyBoyy says:
wat ur exam in, yeahh thts why i hate life most of the time

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!! SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby yeahh i kno, english for my diploma

CraigyyBoyy says:
good luck for tht

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby tahh

CraigyyBoyy says:
is he at vets now

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby no.. just got back, if hes not better in 48 hours theres nothing we can do

CraigyyBoyy says:
thts soo gay im sorry dude

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby thanks
god. i swear someone i kno dies every year.. since i was 10
10-my first dog,11-not sure.. 12- my granddad 13- my mums friends dad 14-great granddad and great nan 15- Sparkie nearlyy..
fuck my life

CraigyyBoyy says:
thtss soo gay ive lost my grandma wen i was 9
and i nearly lost my dad the other yearr

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby hows that?

CraigyyBoyy says:
he had a heart attack nd was in hostiple for a while
nd he still ill

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby)': ahh thats shit

CraigyyBoyy says:
yeahh its another reason why im normally depressed

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby)': mm
well most of this is why im in counselling

CraigyyBoyy says:
i didnt Know u did counsellingg

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby)': yeahh. hav done since end of year 9

CraigyyBoyy says:
oo, whats it likee
does it help at all

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby)': well it kinda does, i mean before i felt like i couldnt talk to anyone so it gave me someone to talk to, you just sit there and talk about things going on or hav gone on

CraigyyBoyy says:
oo ritee

OhShoot!Its Carzyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby)': i think one of the first things i talked to her about was why i felt shit at the time, then it was self image, now it varies

CraigyyBoyy says:
oo ritee how often do u do it

OhShoot!Its Amiie!! SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby)': uhm varies on when theres a space
or what lesson you wanna miss
im missing p.e tomorrow

CraigyyBoyy says:
luckyy ;P

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby)': ;P the down side to that is i havent been in ages and iv gone a bit mental
cut myself more then i used to

CraigyyBoyy says:
oo thts annoying

OhShoot!Its Crazyy!!SparkiieBoyy): DoesntLookGoodForYouuBubby)': mm lifes bull shit
its a pointless game everyone loses in the end anyway

CraigyyBoyy says:
mm i agree.. we all die in the end.

and that was mine and Craig's depressing conversationn..
and WHOOPEYY i get to miss p.e tomorrow coz of the counsellor (Y)

finally
havent been in ages. im going insane.

but hey thats my news. and that Skei could be expelled from my school, whiwch would make me even worse.

so anyway
good bye all, prey for my puppyy?
if you do i'll love you (:

"I've had my wake up, Wont you wake up, I keep asking why, I cant take it, It wasnt fake, It happened you passed by.."
x

AHAHAHAA I'M BAACK!!

yeahh yeahh i kno im such a depressing twat well now im not going to be depressing. im going to be a bitch :D and a happy one at that :) ha! its amazing at how things have change since i last blogged!! first of all im going to start over with the names. so you probably wont kno who im talking about. but this is a fresh start as its a new year.

first of all. i hav a boyfriend. :D Skei. [pronounced sky, spelt that way for a reason] he was going out with Kitty [keeping her name the same. most suitable name i can think of! LOL] aaaand he prefers me :D so far we've been going out for 4 and a bit months :) <3 he wrote me a song and a poem :D the poem is stuck to my wall above my bedd :D

as for Kitty, shes a bitch whos still obsessed with my boyfriend. =_= one of my best friends, Hans[this is her man name in real life :D and a new person iv never mentioned] told me that Kitty was saying things like she missed pulling Skei. you dont go about saying stuff like that about someone elses boyfriend, even if hes your ex. even worse if he is your ex really isnt it? you broke up for a reason. get over it hes mine now :D

As for my new best buddie [well one of them] Hans is a lovely year 8. even tho im a year 10 btu shes awefully maturee for her agee :) shes really great. we agree on so much! we recently made a list of people we'd like to punch in the face! XD XD its amazing the things we talk about, her and Skei are the 2 people who kno most about me :) im thankful they are both there for me :)

on of my top five is the amazing Kingg, shes awesomee. she knows alot about me too. not as much as Skei or Hans XD but she makes me smile on a shitty dayy which is AMAZZINGG! :) she also tells me stuff that people hav sed [like the Kitty thing about Skei..] i love her for that. and shes not h=too hyper all the time, like Kitty =_= LOL :D and she doesnt tell other people my secrets :)

ANOTHER of my top fivee, Man. :L:L hes so cool. been my best friend for 3 years. coming up to 4 at the end of this one :) we talk about anything and everything. he keeps me sane when im questioning my sanity. hes like a big brother to mee :D also an amazing personn :)

my final top five person is Zanerr [i asked her what shed like to ba called an she sed Zaner, so thats what im putting her as in my blog :)] she may be a bit of a slut sometimes but hey shes a great person :) she makes things fun too :) iv pulled her twice XD XD

hm now on to people i dont like so much. Playa [suggested by my friend Craig XD] well first time we fell out was my fault, i made her boyfriend cheat on her XD didnt mean to tho. recently shes been sleeping around abit. she slept with this guy on facebook she just met in a skate park without a condom. gross i kno. and even more recently se slept with someone again. but different person. :/ one of the things that annoys me is that shes PROUD of sleeping with people she hardly knows at 14. urghh.

theres many moree XD but i cba right now if im honestt :)

one last thing on my mind now tho... HOW CAN KITTY LOSE 5 POUNDS IN A WEEK AND I CANT LOSE 1 AT ALL!? AHHH!!!

and if anyone who reads this knows of a good band to see or any concerts coming up, please tell mee :) apriciate it ;)

much love to you all, and happy new year :L:L
mines gonna be a happy one for once :)
<3 xxxx
'Kiss Your Lips, Grab Your Hips And Fly Away!'